I'm afraid of tomorrow

because of what happened in the past few days.

Remember the friend I was telling, the one with the leukemia, she passed away last week (just click here, if you haven't read that). When I heard the news, I dismissed my class early and walked straight to the house of my friend and talk about what happened. He was with me to donate blood, but was disqualified for some reasons. Days before the sad news, he was planning to return to the hospital to try his luck once more. He had been wanting to help our friend but fate is unpredictable and he wasn't given the chance to do what he wanted.

Her death shouldn't be hard for me to accept. After all, we had rarely seen and talked for the past months. But I was having a conversation with her a week before she was hospitalized then diagnosed with the disease. However, there was something about the way she lived her life that made me feel sorry. She was a faithful woman who committed her life to serving God, and that alone made me realize a lot. 

In some ways I forgot that I am vulnerable, her death reminded me of that fact. Experiencing something is different than just thinking about it. It made me realized how blessed I am because if only I'll try, I can do things. There's a lot of realizations to write, to be honest.

It's February tomorrow, the last thirty one days wasn't really easy to take, Like her death, a lot of things are not in my control. This makes living worthy. 

For now, I'll just close my eyes and live.