Questions

I left my master's class with bits of frustration. I expected more from the discussion, from the professor, from my classmates. I expected more from myself. Instead, it looked like I overdid my reading assignment and asked a lot of questions. I looked like an arrogant student forcing myself in a discourse no one wanted to get in.

'That's not how a graduate class should look like, right?'

This leads me to ask of the role of questions not only to discourse but life in general. Honestly, I haven't really known a lot of things. In fact, I haven't decided on my major goals this year as the 1st month is about to expire. Part of me gives doubt on  whether I really need plans or not. I can be someone who wanders and still end up good, after all. Just being happy about what's happening can make me satisfied. But with all these clouded judgments and analysis paralysis I'm experiencing, I know great questions can save me. I know if I can frame a good question, I can make the situation so much better. I can make sense of the difficulty and have the right answers depending on my goal.

My fascination with questions started after graduations, a self-help addict back then, I was convinced that if I wanted to live a 'good' life, I should be able to ask good questions. To me that statement wasn't just about wishful thinking nor is it a mere positivity propaganda.

Why should you ask questions in the first place? It is a moral obligation to ask questions --according to philosophers, that is. Even they have tackled with a lot of problems including the need for their discipline, and they (at least, most of them) agreed that asking questions are part of your obligation as a rational being. How do we live? What does a good life mean? Why is it difficult to be a human being? All these questions are not meant to have a one absolute answer. In fact trying to look for a single answer would likely give you tension headache. All of these are questions borne out of their obligation to inquire, partly because they have the capacity to do so.

Questions are reflections of your individuality and pursuit of higher values.  Everyone has different questions to ask. Our own interests and biases will lead us to asking different questions even in similar situations. Your question can be a representation of who you are, what you want to know, what you want to become. The toil in asking difficult questions also reflect the pursuit of humanity in general, in dealing with the rational and not just pragmatic matters. Although we want to get an answer to every question we ask, it's somewhat an imperative to wonder, almost impossible not to doubt. That's why questioning or inquiry is inevitable. If it's inevitable, then why does it become a pursuit? Well, because not all people will wrestle with the idea. You can wonder and wander right after.

Some questions aren't meant to be answered; not a disentanglement or confusion to be solved. It may be a reflective thought on what could possibly happen if I had pursued screenwriting and shunned from the academe; if I had become disciplined enough to fight for passion over fascination; if I was brave enough to pursue what I wanted, who I liked and hold a strong grip of the future I just dreamed of.

Some questions are for hoping, while some are for ending a long overthinking. Will the situation get better? Who knows?