Musings on teaching
I hardly had any sleep. I need to write to stop myself from overthinking that's why even it's not yet 5am, I hit the keyboard.
I must have been drained from this week's demands which makes me realize that March to June have been challenging months for me the past years. Maybe, that's just because of the season of work. I need to grind harder during these months since the hardest part of my jobs occur here.
The school year is about to end. Unlike last year, I don't feel anything special about this year's ending. There were things that I missed, things I should have done, things I should have avoided. And worse, I got my lowest student's evaluation this time. Yet I have nothing to worry since I think I deserve a lower score. I had a hard time giving consistent blows to the demands of the work. To tell you the truth, some days, I intentionally give people the wrong impression about me. I didn't exert any effort even if I could. Intentionally missed classes and took unnecessary leaves. Well, that's another story to tell.
All the stresses from other things must have spilled over my job. That is only what I suspect. I cannot focus on my job because something else is bothering me. I should be finishing my work. I should be flipping through the pages of a book, writing my manuscript and doing what I really want. Amidst that, I still think I am fit for teaching. I cannot leave the profession because no job can give me the joy I have here. I can't imagine my life without sharing what I know, and molding the next generation to what I think is best for the summum bonum.
Evaluation scores are good measures of an educator's capacity. Because if there are no things like that, then how can we know if we're effective, right? But I don't want to limit myself to that. I'm doing what I know best. Just one or two, of a hundred students, who can confidently say I have influenced them in the best ways, and my vocation is a success.
And there were students who said that. Who said what I teach was amazing, inspiring and, best of all, life-changing. I teach for these kids. I teach for those who look for inspiration, who strive not because of grades but because they understand the stories I tell, the message I want to ripple.
That's also the reason why teaching can explain life very well. We may accommodate different things, yet it is only for one or two important things that we get the meaning to live. We try to give our best for everyone, but face it, not everyone will have the same conviction.
"If you don't have any questions, for the last time, goodbye and thank you", I said to my students.
And just like that, we are bound to start anew.
I must have been drained from this week's demands which makes me realize that March to June have been challenging months for me the past years. Maybe, that's just because of the season of work. I need to grind harder during these months since the hardest part of my jobs occur here.
The school year is about to end. Unlike last year, I don't feel anything special about this year's ending. There were things that I missed, things I should have done, things I should have avoided. And worse, I got my lowest student's evaluation this time. Yet I have nothing to worry since I think I deserve a lower score. I had a hard time giving consistent blows to the demands of the work. To tell you the truth, some days, I intentionally give people the wrong impression about me. I didn't exert any effort even if I could. Intentionally missed classes and took unnecessary leaves. Well, that's another story to tell.
All the stresses from other things must have spilled over my job. That is only what I suspect. I cannot focus on my job because something else is bothering me. I should be finishing my work. I should be flipping through the pages of a book, writing my manuscript and doing what I really want. Amidst that, I still think I am fit for teaching. I cannot leave the profession because no job can give me the joy I have here. I can't imagine my life without sharing what I know, and molding the next generation to what I think is best for the summum bonum.
Evaluation scores are good measures of an educator's capacity. Because if there are no things like that, then how can we know if we're effective, right? But I don't want to limit myself to that. I'm doing what I know best. Just one or two, of a hundred students, who can confidently say I have influenced them in the best ways, and my vocation is a success.
And there were students who said that. Who said what I teach was amazing, inspiring and, best of all, life-changing. I teach for these kids. I teach for those who look for inspiration, who strive not because of grades but because they understand the stories I tell, the message I want to ripple.
That's also the reason why teaching can explain life very well. We may accommodate different things, yet it is only for one or two important things that we get the meaning to live. We try to give our best for everyone, but face it, not everyone will have the same conviction.
"If you don't have any questions, for the last time, goodbye and thank you", I said to my students.
And just like that, we are bound to start anew.
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