Uncertainty

I would be remissed if I say that I am sure of where I am going for the next five years. My workdays are not as bright as what I expected them to be, and I fear that it isn't going to be any better. Though I know that I am still in the transition period that no one knows when to end, I cannot help but think of what I really wanted to do in my life.

Not until last year, teaching as a profession had never crossed my mind. Everyone knew that  I would pursue law school after graduation. Being a lawyer is still my childhood dream. It will always be. It was my biggest consideration when I changed my course in college. It was the one thing in my mind when I took the risk of having one-year delay of graduation. 

Everything was all set back then until I started shutting down the dream because of my fear.

Out of nowhere, my student asked me, "sir, do you really want to be a teacher?"

"Okay lang," I said. Although, deep inside was a triggered existential crisis, I did my best to conceal what I felt.

With that single question, I have found out that the fear still resides in me. It left me dumfounded. It stirs my imagination and my plans for the future and about the paths I should have taken.

For now, there's nothing I can do but continue what I have committed to do. 

I believe everything will make sense soon. I pray that it will.