What's the first thing you think about when you wake up?

I used to be anxious every morning.

As a kid, would often be jolted by my mother out of a nightmare. So I would spend the first minute of my mornings, thinking about where I had been and what good to do to somewhat erase that bad memory. Yet through time, I got used to my weird dreams and it didn’t matter that much.

When I was seventeen, I learned to make a good sense of my dreams. A writer taught me how to observe what’s happening in my dreams to write them down on paper when I get up. So, from then, the first thing I was thinking about when I got up was my pen and paper. I would wake up anxious because I wouldn’t want to forget every detail of my dream.

When I was eighteen, I was in love. And so, the first thing I thought about every morning was how to connect with that lady, and how I could please her if we’d ever meet in the university. The thoughts of her would occupy my whole day.But it didn’t last long because I learned it was just an infatuation and so I focused on other things instead.

I have been working for two years. I have realized that there is a security once the sunlight invades my room. It tells me that this can be the same day when I felt really good about myself. This same sunlight would tell me that I’d better hurry and prepare because if my muse would incidentally cross my way, I should at least have a decent hair.

At twenty-two being a teacher and an aspiring author, I have been more grateful to God because of the wonderful creation he has allowed me to witness. So the first thing I do now is thank God because I am alive to write a life worth living and live a life worth writing (you know how that phrase goes). Then after that, I would despair for failing to reach my word count goal.

And I’d become anxious again, just like when I was younger.

(Also found here.*)