A Mindful Way of Dealing with Expectations

Expectation precedes our behavior. The way we think, speak and act are the results of our expectations. I find this very evident in the case of my students. Those who expect to learn more in my class are very distinguishable. They intently listen, they complain less, and they are engaged. Those who expect to just live through the one hour class are the opposite.

What is strange is that no matter how important it is, most of us don't easily take notice of what our expectations are doing in our life. Maybe, some of my students are not even aware that their expectations are enabling and/or constraining them. Some days, I find myself doing something aimlessly without even knowing what I expect to produce.

This is because we are more aware of the expectations of others from us. We even value what the people are going to say once we do a certain thing or not; once we pursue our own passions; once we fail. Why do we know what other people expect from us? Because we take notice of it. Why do we take notice of it? Because we think it is important.

It is best if we can clarify the expectations before we act upon them. It is important to ask whether we actually know what we expect ourselves to have, to do, to accomplish and to achieve before soaking ourselves into action. 

Only after knowing what we expect from ourselves should we care about what other people expect from us. Only after it should we decide whether their expectations are worth living up or not.