What Keeps Us From Being Selfless

It started when you were taught that everything that you take has a corresponding value, and everything that you give should be reciprocated. Your school might have reinforced it when your teacher said that there is no such thing as free lunch. After hearing it from them, you were totally convinced  to always reserve something for yourself and that you  should be protected before anyone else.

This way of viewing the world can be called a scarcity paradigm. It starts with the assumption that every resource is limited therefore we need to make a tight  allocation of  it. It encourages one to prioritize the needs before the wants and therefore discouraging the shortage. Almost always, your needs should be addressed first before attending to the needs of others. In this paradigm, what you give to others is a loss, and what you receive is gain. 

The basic assumption of the paradigm is not wrong in itself. It is just a statement of fact. Our resources being limited is a statement of fact. However, people who are aware of the scarcity often arrive at the wrong implications of it, which in turn, make them think that generosity should never be a virtue. These people think that you can only give once you have more than enough.

What prevents us from giving is thinking that creativity, kindness and love, along with many other things, are limited commodities. First, they are no commodities. And no, scarcity was not able to penetrate these things. These are not depleting resources. These things are alive. They come in unending ripples. Mainly because the One who created them intended them to be as such.

So, stop saying that you should reserve kindness, or love, or wit for yourself. It does not make sense. When you give kindness it doesn't follow that you lose it. The kindness you give to others is always being reciprocated through the kindness that others show you or through them giving it back to others.