Taking Down the Gremlin and the Hiya' Culture

Shame is more tenacious than what you think. It is present when you feel undeserving and tend to do nothing. In times that you feel very confident, it is also just sitting around the corner telling you haven't proven anything yet. 

Just like expectations, shame is not self made. If you feel the shame, it is normal. It is observable in any culture. That's why you can hear Brene Brown speaking about gremlin and find yourself nodding almost every after a word she says. You see, there is a lot of western talks and books about shame. However, they cannot be compared to the Filipino term hiya'. I believe our hiya' is the gremlin crystallized into culture. Now, we Filipinos are in a more  struggling position. We do not just fight the gremlin inside us when we struggle with shame, we also try to unlearn the whole culture. And it is not an easy task. 

So, when we are tasked to speak publicly, there is not only a struggle inside us because of the anxiety, but also a disconnect between what we need to do and what our culture tells  us to avoid. But no matter what is actually going on inside us whenever we feel the shame, the fact still remains that shame can be rooted from our emotions and emotions are mere products of our thinking. 

In shutting down the shame, what you need is a disciplined thinking. You need to think about what you can give, and not about what you don't have. You need to think about your strengths, not about the mishaps in your life. So when you are asked to do something, you do it with the aid of your God-given uniqueness. Do it for others, do it for Him.

The next time you are tasked with something big, hold the bull by its horns. Shut down the shame before it takes you. Do the thing. Again, just do the thing. At the end, isn't it more embarrassing if you don't contribute anything?